Pausing With My (Uncomfortable) Feelings And an Invitation for You to Do It, Too
Yesterday as a gentle rain tickled the windows, I cleaned and organized my studio and thought about what I wanted to write to you.
Usually I write my blog posts long before publishing them Saturday morning. By Friday, even if they’re not finished, at least I have a draft. Here it was, Friday, and I didn’t even know what I wanted to say.
I have a list of ideas — I always have a list of ideas — but as I turned them over, one by one, I dismissed each one.
I was pulled from my thoughts by the sweet song of an oriole just outside my window. I rushed to look out and spotted a swatch of orange hidden among the lilac buds. I hadn’t realized the lilacs were so close to opening.
Another delight of the month of May.
My garden’s been pulling me away from my studio, each day something new to discover. The earth is awakening and I feel as if I’m awakening, too.
To be honest, I’ve been struggling. Last year was challenging for me in many ways. (I looked back through my blog posts and see that it’s probably been obvious*).
Making art brings me joy, but my art also comes from a place of joy. I’ve been feeling uninspired, in part, because I’ve been having trouble seeing joy.
I try — writing Joy Lists, focusing on gratitude — but sometimes I cannot see the light.
As I tidied my studio, I reminded myself of each of the situations and struggles I’ve wrestled with over the last year (and further back, as well). Not to dwell but to acknowledge. To honor my feelings, not push them aside.
I think many of us have been struggling. And we forget to acknowledge it. Or feel as if we can’t acknowledge it. Maybe we just don’t allow for the time to sit with our feelings.
Life continues to hurtle forward. It doesn’t allow for pauses. And we want to move on.
But I also want, or maybe I need, to pause for a bit. To spend time with my thoughts and my feelings. Even if some of them are uncomfortable. I need to acknowledge that these have been a hard few years. To be gentle with myself, nurture myself. And to gather strength before I move on.
With the arrival of spring, as the earth reawakens, I feel as if I can.
If you’ve been struggling I hope this note, today, will help you claim a bit of space. So you can pause, too.
Maybe you’ll sit and listen to the sound of raindrops. Maybe you’ll notice birdsong or the trill of a frog. Maybe you’ll see a flash of color that wasn’t there before.
I hope you’ll give yourself time to sit with your feelings. Acknowledge them, good or bad and in doing so feel a bit lighter.
*I never want my blog to be a downer. My intention is always to inspire…. inspire you to be creative, inspire you to seek joy. When I struggle to feel joy, when I struggle to be creative, I cannot hide it. And I don’t want to. I strive to be authentic, even here on the internet. And so during difficult times, I share encouragement, perhaps in an effort to encourage myself as well as you:
Why It's So Important to Create Time and Space for Yourself During Difficult Times
What I Learned During My Four Week Blogging Break And What Happens Now I'm Back
What if You Don't Feel Like Creating? How to Handle Creative Slumps
20 Daily Delights: Writing a Joy List as a Reminder to Focus on Gratitude
Listen to Yourself: a Reminder of the Importance of Rest and Self-Care
My Intentions for the Rest of 2022 and an Invitation to Join Me in Gratitude